To Fight and To Fly
by Bethisjolllly
Summary: Fay is a 17 year old girl who for the last five years has struggled with self harm, one night a hallucination takes her to an island with sword fights and pirates and a strange boy. Trigger warning from the start. Also, please remember to review and follow because it makes me feel fluffy inside.
1. Chapter 1

In my room, I start hitting my arm against my desk, mum isn't home when so she won't hear.

It's my favourite time when mum's out, I get to hurt in whatever way I need. After hitting my arm a times and getting nothing but a bruise, I remove my phone case and slide out the blade I use most often, it's my favourite.

The one issue is I can never get long enough cuts, they're either long and shallow and short and deep.

Pushing the point in, wondering if I'll finally end it I hear my mum pull up on the drive. I mop up the blood, bandage my arm up and hide the blade.

"Fay? Are you up there?"

"I'm just coming," I need to get quicker at bandaging, this isn't helping my anxiety issues. I pull my jumper on and go downstairs.

"I'm going to make a pasta bake for dinner tonight, so can you go sit in the lounge whilst I get the knives out," I sigh and roll my eyes, she'd been like this since I was admitted to an inpatient unit last year. The hospital staff said it would be a good idea so she did it, along with searching my chest of drawers and taking the laces out of my shoes. None of which had any consequence to me, I never hid my blades in the drawers because I knew she'd search there, if she ever cared that I was doing it, so I'd got them, scattered all over my room.

"Right," I slumped out of the kitchen and and went into the lounge.

"This is your fault, you do realise," my mum said "we wouldn't have to do this if it wasn't for you and your silly habits."

"Well... you smoke," I said, "you can hardly talk about silly habits."

"I have to smoke because you stress me out so much."

At this point, my face dropped. There was always a this point in the argument, when she said something that made me feel worthless.

"I'm not hungry." The evening was ruined so I went to my bedroom and flopped down, only slightly wincing at the pain as my arm hit the pillow.

Lying on my bed I watched the stars, I saw a shooting star and quickly closed my eyes and prayed for a release, prayed for the courage to get away from this hell hole.

A dark shadow came over my face, blocking out the light. Opening my eyes I saw a dark figure with flames for eyes.

I closed my eyes and whispered, "it's not real, it's not real. You're just hallucinating."

I slowly unclenched my eyes and peered through and the shadow had gone.

I breathed out slowly, I didn't normally get hallucinations but I new how to stop them.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning I woke up and moved to the sofa, I don't go to school anymore, it's not as great as you'd think, I just sleep a lot and watch TV shows that I don't even like.

Nothing interesting happens all day, I go to bed and wake up to the dark figure again, he holds his hand out and I reach out, fascinated. I've never had a hallucination this real before.

He lifts me up and the next thing I know I'm zooming through the sky, coming uncomfortably close to buildings and trying not to scream - the whole time wondering what kind of hallucination can make this happen, it's not my medication - I haven't taken my meds in over a year now.

We're over the ocean, which frightens me greatly. Praying he doesn't drop me, praying he does.

A huge black ball comes out of nowhere and I narrowly avoid it but I let go of the shadow and in his panic he lets go of me.

The world starts tumbling and I don't know which way is up.

This is it, finally.

Im falling and falling and then I hit some kind of cotton material and I slide down it and into the arms of an angel.

I sigh with content.


	3. Chapter 3

I finally open my eyes, to discover what Hell looks like and a handsome man wearing a little too much leather looks at me.

"What kind of devil are you?"

His face contorts into something between confusion and amusement, "devilishly handsome. Don't you think?"

I hear a loud laugh and look around, there are several people, all dressed it a similar fashion. I'm on a boat. I roll out of the Devil man's arms and stand up.

"I didn't... I didn't die?"

"No need to look so disappointed." He smirks, I'm not used to adults finding suicidal thoughts amusing but there you go, finally I've found one who might just help.

"Where am I?" I've backed myself up to the edge of the boat, if a quick escape is necessary I can take it.

"The Jolly Roger" he holds out his hand, "and I am Hook or Killian, but my men call me Captain."

"Your men? Are you gay?" I feel embarrassed at my boldness but I stick to my guns, something tells me weakness will get me killed.

"Gay? Of course I'm happy. What does that have to do with my men?"

"Not... Not what I meant. It's not important. Where am I? What is this sea? Who was that shadow? Are you real?" I shout each question, knowing I'm letting my anger take over - I didn't hurt yesterday, the emotions are getting big.

He suddenly looks quite serious, he is obviously fighting over whether to look me in the eyes but he does, "you really don't know?" I shake my head, "you're in Neverland, the shadow belongs to Peter Pan and I'm real."

"Why am I here?"

"Pan wants you and Peter Pan never fails. If he wants you he'll get you and I'm sorry but I can't change that."

"How do I find this Peter Pan? How do I find out why I'm here?"

"If you get to the island, he'll find you. He knows everything about that island, including whose touching the soil. But," he started towards me, "you don't want to go near him. We'll hide you."

"I've waited my life to be wanted. I'm not giving it up now." With that I throw myself backwards, there's just enough time before I hit the water to hear Hook scream.


	4. Chapter 4

The sea water stings my cuts making every stroke painful, Hook is still shouting after me but apparently refusing to enter the water.

I realise why as a hand wraps round my ankle, I feel myself disappearing slowly, drowning is by far the worst way to die, struggling to breathe, knowing you can't. It sucks, particularly when you do it to yourself.

I couldn't help but kick out, I struck something and swam up and away heading towards shallower waters. I crawled onto the sand, my arm stinging and I'm pretty sure one of the cuts on my thighs pulled open, blood soaked my leggings and stained the beach.

I started to push myself up, I couldn't collapse here, I need to find Peter.

A sword pushed into my neck.

"Stay," a boy with a strange accent and a smirk in his voice pins me to the floor with his threats.

"What... What do you want with me?" I'm struggling to talk now, I feel myself passing out but I press my hand on my thigh to stay awake.

"I want nothing from you, Pan wants you."

"Take me to him," I fail to hold on any longer and the world fades.


	5. Chapter 5

I see vague images, being picked up and slung over a shoulder, a boy with a scar and someone else looking at me and blood, lots of blood but that's stopped now.

I open my eyes to the pain of sun, I've been placed in the sun and my eyes aren't adjusted to the sudden brightness.

I slowly push myself up, my trousers were taken off to get at the wound, I presume - I hope and all I have is a slightly large shirt that covers the top of my thighs.

I check out the bandage they used on my thigh and I have to say, it's not bad, it's not great but when I first started having to bandage myself, well I ruined quite a few pairs of jeans.

I stumble around what appears to be the campsite, there are several boys milling around but none of them even looked at me.

"Do you have any food? Please" I begged the boys, "I'm starving."

After quietly but urgently chattering amongst themselves one of the boys got shoved towards me, "P-p-pan says we can't talk to you or g-g-give you anything, until he has seen you."

"Well. If you know that, then why, I wonder", a figure flew so close to my face I could have sworn I heard an impish laugh by my ear, suddenly the boy who'd spoken to me was slammed against a tree and was held there by his throat, his legs flailing below him, "did you disobey me!"

"I'm sorry," he teared up, horrible scrunched-up-face kind of crying, "they made me, they said we had to talk to her, because she was sad.

"No one is sad on Neverland, don't lie."

"He's not. Now put him down." I had finally become sick of this... this monster's behaviour.

Finally remembering I was behind him, the boy, who I can only assume is Peter, flung the boy to the ground and came towards me until we were nose-to-nose.

"Don't. Defend. Crying. Little. Wimps," With each word, he prods my chest hard, causing me to stumble over a tree root and land hard. Falling jolts my wounds and my face screws up in pain.

"Ah, your wounds. We need to discuss those later." Oh shit, discuss means hospital, or it would if there was one on this odd little island, "but, right now, we fight."

"Fight? And what about food? I'm starving." I can't fight, I took karate lessons but I fell over once and had been too anxious to ever go back.

He unsheathed a long dagger and flicked it round so I could take the handle and held his hand out just as one of the boys placed a similar dagger in his hand. They are small but so are we. "You're giving me a sharp?" I couldn't work this boy out.

"Yes, and it's called a long dagger, not a sharp."

"I can't fight." God, my brain is swimming, I have not hurt myself in two days now and I really, really need it. I'm considering sprinting with the sword but I have no idea why he wants me, so I'll stay, for now.

"Just try, if you are as bad as I suspect, you shall be trained. You'll get food when I give you food."

"And if not?" I thought I should ask, though I wasn't sure I wanted the answer.

"Trust me, you will be as bad as I suspect. Peter Pan is never wrong."

Ten minutes later and we're face to face, I know I need to clear my head so I push my hand against my leg, it stings but my head clears enough to fight for a bit. I've been given clothes because apparently he's reasonable enough to know that a pyjama top isn't fighting attire.

Ruthless, as shown from the way he treated someone for talking to me.

Doesn't want me dead, very important, he said if I'm as bad as he thinks he'll train me, meaning he expects me to live.

What do I know about me?

Injured.

Hungry.

Tired.

Unskilled.

Okay, the five rules of combat fighting - my karate teacher would have us recite them at the beginning of every lesson.

Number one - don't be there.

This is not helpful, I'm already here.

Number two - if you're already there, leave.

Also unhelpful, I'm stuck on an island with, I can presume, no adults. Running would tire me out much faster than him, I've had no food or drink for however long I was asleep and I'm injured.

Number three - what are your opponents weaknesses?

None, as far as I can see. He seems skilled with his blade, juggling it between hands. He has little regard for his 'boys' so a hostage wouldn't work.

Number four - check your surroundings.

Trees. Lots of trees. And a pile of swords... No, I'm not here to hurt him.

Number five - fight.

I can see my training went to great use.

We've already been shuffling about for a few seconds, I watch him carefully for twitching or subtle movements but he keeps spinning his dagger making it incredibly difficult to notice when he suddenly lunged forward, I yelped and jumped backwards.

He smirked.

I breathed out slowly, do not let him get you mad, mad makes mistakes.

I was now backed up against a tree, I needed space, I couldn't fight properly without space.

I couldn't get a good foot position, not without shoes and definitely not whilst standing on tree roots. I held my sword up and he started walking towards me, backing me against the tree and so I lunged, flailing my sword in his face, occasionally making contact with his sword, punctuating every hit with a loud yell - a common tactic in karate - he obviously sees what I'm doing but allows it to happen.

I manage to back him up against a tree, though I can guarantee that he let me.

We carry on, him expertly blocking each flail I make with my sword, he must know that I'm exhausted, wounded and starved.

He has been slowly backing me back towards the tree, he must know he's going to beat me.

I stumble over some tree roots and he places the tip of his sword on my chest.

Half wanting to stand up and let him stab me, half wanting to flop back, to give up and accept full defeat.

But instead, I use the last of my strength to kick his leg out from under him and he falls to the floor.

He stands straight back up and walks away, I take this as an end to the fight and sleep.

My dreams are short and troubled but I sleep anyway.

When I wake, the boys are dancing round a camp fire, Pan plays a tune on his pipe and I listen, it's sweet and lively.

My stomach has been so empty for so long that I am not hungry. I stand but my vision goes black and I fall back.

The music stops and I can feel people grabbing at my arms and legs, I try to kick out, from instinct, and end up being firmly held by, I can assume, the boys.

I am lain on a cot and forced into a sitting position, somebody hands me some soup and then a small boy ushers everybody else out.

"Drink it, you haven't eaten in hours, days, depending on when you ate before you came."

I put the bowl to my lips and blew, hoping it wouldn't be too hot but blowing made me dizzy and I had to lie down again.

"You're the first girl we've had here you know, to stay?"

"I just need to talk to Peter, he wants me, I don't know why." I lie resting the soup on my belly. The boy has gone strangely quiet so I feel the need to ask, "are you a prisoner?"

"No! My parents didn't want me, Pan wants all his Lost Boys."

"But can you leave?"

"Nobody tries. One boy left once, but I don't know why."

"How did he get off the island?"

He goes quiet again and I know I've pushed it too far.

"Drink some soup."

"I-I'm not hungry." I lie, I am half scared of food and half scared of eating on this island, what if it's like Persephone and Hades, eat the food and you can never leave?

"You begged me for food earlier, now drink." He stands over me while I sip at the soup. I do recollect him being in the group earlier, which makes me think of the way Pan treated the boy who talked to me, I need to investigate this island, it's not right, something very strange is happening here and I want to know what.

I finish the soup so he instructs me to get some proper sleep on the bed and leaves.

I lie on my back looking around, a tent, nothing special but it's sturdy, filled with different equipment which makes me wonder who sends it to them, I don't think this island is inhabited by any adults apart from the ones on the boat and they don't seem like the giving sort, so who gets them their supplies? The swords and the clothes. This would go down in Social Service history if anyone found it.

I chuckle to my self and think of my friends back home. We're miles apart but I love them.

They'd kill me if they knew where I was, I'm long past thinking this is a hallucination, everything is so real, the pain from the salt water, the metal of the daggers, the heat from the soup, this couldn't be a dream.


	6. Chapter 6

When I wake up I'm still alone. I consider getting out of bed but I really don't see how that could improve anything. So far getting up has got me kidnapped by a shadow person, a sword fight and forced to eat food. I don't see how waking up will improve anything.

"Who damaged you?" Pan entered the tent with a confidence too bold for someone of his age.

"D-damaged me?" What did he mean damaged? He was the one holding a sword to me yesterday?

"Those wounds on your legs and arms? I presume the Pirates did those?" He spoke quickly, as if asking was a formality and he already knew the answer, "I'll send some of my Lost Boys out, they'll make quick work of Hook."

"It wasn't him."

"One of his men?" I shake my head, I don't want him knowing what's going on but at the same time he terrifies me and I'd hate to think what he'd do to the Pirates.

"Who then?"

A boy with a scar entered at that point, he was tall and handsome in an odd kind of way, "Pan, we've made preparations, shall I tell them to release the boats?"

"No, our friend here is telling me it wasn't the Pirates. They had nothing to do with her being injured."

"So who did it then? If somebody is intercepting your shadow and harming the Lost then war will come, we should prepare." Scar, my new name for this unintroduced stranger, did not look at me at all, he gestured with his head slightly but I obviously didn't warrant even a glance.

 _Oh god, they're going to start a war, against me. Though they don't even know it's against me, they think somebody tortured me - close, not close enough._

"I'll find out directly from the shadow, he will know. We'll find out who we're up against soon."

I should tell him, starting a war is ridiculous, innocent people could get hurt.

But I just can't, not yet.


	7. Chapter 7

"With a possible war coming we need you to be able to fight, now you have strength and sleep we can train you properly." Scar had left the tent and it was me and Pan alone again.

"I take it I sucked before?"

"You weren't bad, but not bad is not good but you were determined. You still knocked me down even when you were close to dead. We need people like you, people who don't care if they die, they just care that their enemy is out too."

"Determined?" Of all the things I've been called I don't think determined has come up once. Lazy, yes. Worthless, yes. Determined? Never.

"Yes, you used the last of your energy cornering me and even when I'd beat you you still chose to knock me down." he gestures to the tent door. "The other boys used that time to plead for their lives," his nose wrinkles in disgust, "pathetic. Perhaps I've been wrong keeping girls from Neverland," he winces and grabs his head, I'm about to jump up and help him but refrain, he does not seem like that would be taken well, when he stands up he heads towards the door,"but perhaps not."

I follow, "what's happening?"

Pan addresses all the boys, "Someone is in Neverland. Someone uninvited. Go find them and bring them to me, alive."


	8. Chapter 8

"Go, find them. We cannot let this island be invaded - whoever tortured her _needs_ to be stopped before anybody else gets hurt," Peter picked up a stick and started to draw with it on the floor, "we'll set up three camps, here will be base, you will report back here if anything happens, in each camp there will be a messenger, this person will need to be small and fast - able to get out if anything happens to the rest of the camp. I will remain here, running operations. Felix will sort out who is at each of the camps," he took Scar, who I guess is Felix, aside and whispered to him, "alright. Now," and he looked at me, "training."

Ten minutes later and I'm walking through the forest with a small boy and a heavy looking bag. Peter is carrying a bow and arrow, as we walk we talk.

"Whoever is on the island is probably the same person who hurt you-"

 _I should tell him._

"Listen, Peter-"

"It's Pan or Peter Pan, no Peter."

"Right, well, I need to talk to you about who attacked me."

"You remember?"

"Not exactly." His eyes narrowed and he stopped walking.

"What do you mean?"

Under his terrifying glare my confidence disappeared.

"I-I um, well, I," I took a deep breath, "I remember what they looked like."

His face lit up, "Excellent."

"It was a woman..." I racked my brain for any kind of description, "she was blonde."

His nose wrinkled in disgust and his eyes darkened in a way that means I can only assume I've just gotten someone in deep trouble.

"I know her. I will deal with her in due course but now," he dug into the bag the small boy carried and he handed me an apple, I pushed it away but he kept pressing.

"I don't want an apple, I've eaten enough." Remembering my manners I added, "thank you."

He smirked in a way that unnerved me.

"These aren't for eating, they're quite poisonous, he handed the apple to the young boy who looked terrified and the bow and arrows to me.

"I'm not shooting anybody."

"That's the right attitude, so many of my boys have been lost to this game."

"No, you don't understand, I won't fire at anybody."

Before I knew what was happening I was pinned against a tree with a knife to my neck, his face pressed close to mine, his eyes filled with fire.

"If you won't shoot, I have no use for you and nobody else can know of Neverland so you'll have to go."

 _I don't like this, this can't be good._

"Fine."

He relaxed and smiled, "good."

I took the bow and arrow and aimed it widely above the young boy's head, I wanted no chance of hitting him. Pulling the bow taught was killing my arm, the hurts from the other day were being stretched and I could feel them nearly bursting open, I went to release the arrow and just as I released the arrow I spun and fired at Pan.


	9. Chapter 9

He raised an eyebrow and smirked at me. The arrow sat in his hand, just in front of his chest.

"You thought tha?"

My stomach hit the floor.

I wanted to save that boys life, I could have worked out how to get all of these boys home, this is my fault, this is fully my fault, crapcrapcrapcrapcrap.

My legs gave in beneath my and I hit a palm against my head.

Again.

Again.

Again.

I know this isn't helping the situation but I couldn't help it, that poor boy, all of them, stuck here with someone who finds them so dispensable. I'm stuck here too.

No.

Selfish.

Selfish.

Selfish.

Selfish.

I lean forward and throw my head at the tree but as I am about to strike I feel a hand behind my head.

My eyes spring open.

"What the Hell?"

Crap.

I get up and run off, although I'm sure he could follow me if he wanted to I am not in the mood.

In my wondering I end up stumbling up one of Pan's other camps, I tell a lost boy Felix sent me to help out - I know I'll be found out soon but right now I just want to sit.

My head is swimming with everything that has happened, I'm stuck here, my only rescuers are going to be killed by Peter - I can't even pretend that that isn't true.

I need to find another way out, another way off this island.

The pirate might help but I can't risk those waters again and it's unlikely he'd risk this island, I figure he's on the boat for a reason.

I'm not going to get anything done for now so I decide bed is the best idea.

I find an empty hammock and try to find some comfort in sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

Waking up I'm confused, why hasn't Pan found me yet?

Surely I should have been woken by now, it's nearly dark.

Looking around the camp I see the hammocks are empty, the Lost Boys are scattered around the floor.

"Oh my God." I think they're dead. Bending down I check the pulse of a few different boys and look over their bodies, alive and unharmed.

But why are they asleep like this? Surely they set up the hammocks, they'd use them?

For the second time in I have no idea how many days I felt a blade once more against my back, the temptation to throw myself back overwhelms but before I can a blonde woman comes into view, also holding a sword but now to my chest.

"Who are you?" She speaks quickly, making my anxiety rise and my name leave my head.

"My- I'm- Um-"

"Well?" A dark haired, stern looking woman comes and stands next to her.

This only scares me and I find myself with a trickle of blood rolling down my back, I've backed myself onto the sword, it's only a nick, no serious harm but it feels good, to have blood running again - to feel real.

"She's bleeding!" A male voice speaks from behind me and it's so close it must be the sword holder.

"I don't care. Where's my son?" The dark haired woman is in my face now, I'm trying not to lean back on to the sword in my back.

"I haven't seen your so-" I stumble, luckily avoiding the sword and end up lying on the floor, I pull a, now dry, plaster from my bra - strange I know but it's the only thing I'm always wearing, as I was taken in my pyjamas and transferred into boy's clothes - which surprisingly have no pockets - I have taken to keeping plasters in places they won't be taken.

I unwrap it, being as obvious as possible, letting them see what I'm doing and reaching round to touch my neck my hand comes away covered in blood.

Christ...

I've been going numb again.

"Do- Do you have any cloth? Something I can wipe it with so the plaster will stick?"

The dark haired woman bends down next to me and holds her hand over my neck, the next thing I know the trickle from my neck has stopped.

"That should have done it. Now, where is my son?"

"Who is your son?" I get a good look at all of them, they look like they've been through Hell. There's a blonde woman and a dark haired woman who appears to be dressed in a suit for some reason and two kind looking people who you can tell are a couple from just looking at them, the woman has a bow and arrow and the man a sword - apart from the woman in a suit they all look concerned. But then I see some movement and as I look round I see, "you."

"Hello love." The pirate who caught me on his boat, he was hiding in the shadows.

I jump up and start to run but before I know it I'm lying on the floor again, the man with the sword holding me face down. I try struggling but really, I know I won't succeed, there's far more of them than there are me.

"Where is my son?" The dark haired woman repeats this and I can't help but laugh, "what's so funny? I can tear your heart out in an instant."

"Go ahead." I smile. I don't care anymore, I don't find anything strange in this land. Unfortunately she takes my smiling as cockiness and goes to thrust her hand at my chest, the man with the sword jumps stops her hand, "No! This will not help find Henry." He helps me up and looks me in the eye, "please, we just want to find our grandson."

"Grandson? What did you knock her up when she was twelve or something?"

"Thank you," his girlfriend smiles cheerily, "what? She thinks I'm young."

"We just want to find Henry. He would have been new, possibly a prisoner." The man has started talking to me again.

"I'm sorry, I've only been here for a few days - I've slept most the time."

They all sigh.

"I'm sorry. He took me too, or a dark shadow thing did." I suddenly realise how crazy I sound, "I know that sounds stupid, I was probably just imagining things."

"No, we believe you. We've seen the shadow." The young woman approaches me, she has a kind face, "my name is Mary Margaret, what's yours?"

"I'm- I'm Fay, I'm sorry about your- your Henry."

"It's fine, we'll get him back. I'm David." The man with her puts his sword back in it's sheath, "sorry for holding you down but I kind of want my grandson back."

I nod.

"Why are you with him?" I point at the pirate.

"I am here as a friend to the family," he points to the group of people with him.

"Funny," the dark haired woman gives a severe smile, "where's his camp?"

"I don't know, I was pretty out of it when I turned up here yesterday, I just wandered into the camp and fell into a hammock. Peter... or Pan or whatever he'd walked me miles from the base and wanted me to shoot some... some little kid, or an apple on his head."

"That's an old test Pan'd do with new boys," Hook added, I have decided to name him that because well, he has a hook for a hand and I'm not feeling creative, I think the fact that I'm female was just passed over for now, we'd figure that out later.

"But I couldn't do it, at the last second I turned and tried to fire at him but he caught it, I mean, in mid air." I paused, thinking about how remarkable that actually was, "and then he laughed. I thought he was going to kill me." I start to become overwhelmed with emotions, remembering how I'd felt.

Mary Margaret sat down with me, "You're safe now, you're with us."

"Fat lot of good that will do, all we have right now is the possibility of a way out in some lost boys cave," the dark haired woman said snarkily.

"Thanks Regina, that's really helping."

"Do you know where his camp might be? Anything about it?"

"No, but I remember when I washed up, I was injured. There may be a blood trail. It's a bit morbid but it could work."

"Injured, are you okay?" The blonde woman speaks again.

"I'm fine, he patched me up. Or one of the boys did."

"What happened? You weren't injured on my boat." The Pirate spoke again, he'd been leaning against a tree till now studying his hook.

"I was injured before I got to the boat... but it's not important where I was hurt. Lets go find this kid."


	11. Chapter 11

"I think this is where I washed up, it was a beach."

"This would be around where the currents would have taken you from my boat," we trapsed through the forest until we came to the sea, walking was hurting me but I still don't trust these people, definitely not to let them know my weakness.

"There," the blonde, who still hasn't introduced herself, points with her sword and sprints over to a puddle of blood.

"This is a lot of blood, what happened to you?" They all turn round and stare at me, I start to feel faint again, black spots fill my vision and I wrap a hand round my wrist, putting pressure on the wounds bringing a searing fire of pain which rids me of the spots but unfortunately, not the question.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." Not quite the well-constructed lie I wanted but it did the trick, I guess we have bigger fish to fry so they leave it for the moment, "there's more there." I walk over to a dribble of blood and look for the next one.

"So why exactly are you here?" Blondie gets into step with me and seems to pretend we're having a private conversation but you can tell the others are listening.

"I," I think, why _am_ I here? I just took the shadows hand and got whisked away, "I don't know. I woke up and there was this black figure looming over me, I took it's hand and it brought me here. When Pan found me, he gave me no reason or anything, I just got dragged around and told to shoot things. He made me fight him, I was starved and tired and out of it and he made me fight him."

"He's got an ego, he likes it to be filled. You were the perfect target. Once we've got Henry from Pan we'll get going. We'll get you off this island soon."

I scoff, I don't even know if I want to leave.

"What's that for? Beginning to feel like you don't want to leave?"

I nod, how did she know that?

"I didn't have a normal life growing up, I grew up an orphan, it's only now I've got parents," she gestures to the couple.

"They're your parents?" I raise an eyebrow and smirk, surely she's teasing me.

"Yeah. We're not a normal family." She laughs quietly, the conversation hits a lull but she keeps going, "do you have a family?"

"I have a mum but this years been hard, we've grown apart," for once I tell the truth, I surprise even myself.

"I can understand that, this year hasn't been easy and we've had some… difficulties but it's how we handle it that pulls us together," she smiles and we walk on in silence.

 **A/N Does anybody enjoy this story? Where do you think it should head? What should happen?**

 **I don't have a 'grand plan' as such, just little things I want to see but what would you guys like?**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N I have changed the story starting about two chapters back so that Neal isn't included yet, I have a method to my madness, just bare with me.**

"There's no point trying to get Henry yet." Hook has obviously reached some kind of conclusion and stops walking.

"What?" Blondie scoffs.

"Until we have a way off the island, trying to get Henry is pointless. If we have Henry Pan will not leave us alone, we'll be chased and Henry will be taken back, but if we can get to Bae's old cave..." I don't know who Bae is, the pirate doesn't strike me as being the kind to call people Bae but then you never know.

"You're right, he escaped before, maybe he left a clue to how he got out," Regina seems impressed.

I keep silent, I just want off the island, this is too much.

"Where's his cave?" Blondie asks.

"It's north of here, shouldn't take too long."

We set off walking, Hook and David muttering between them the entire time.

"How are you all related? I know you're her mum but Hook seemed-"

Blondie slams me against a tree, "what did you just call him?"

"Emma, what are you doing?" David shouts.

"She just called him Hook, he never introduced himself. How do you know his name?"

"He has a hook for a a hand, he never introduced himself so I nicknamed him, okay?" I shout, I don't understand the option.

She scowls, "Regina?"

"Mm?"

"Can you make some cuffs for her?"

"Certainly. Someone hold her hands together." Hook steps in and grabs my wrists in one hand, I wince but he doesn't relinquish. Regina seems far too pleased to be doing- wait, what's she doing.

"Help! Help!" I scream, she's growing something, some kind of vine. I struggle against Hook's grip and Emma's arm but they're both strong.

"Somebody shut her up."

Hook, no longer being needed to hold my wrists, takes a piece of cloth from his jacket, why on Earth? I don't even want to know, and he stuffs it in my mouth. I scowl and he smiles smugly, which only makes me scowl more.

"Now walk." Emma walks next to me, her sword in hand at all times, I walk along, Emma talking to me the whole time, "if I find out you're a spy, I will be very, very hard to hold back." I just glare at her out of the corner of my eye, not wanting to take my eyes off the forest floor as I can't exactly put my hands out.

Eventually we reach a small rock wall and you can just about tell there's a hole there with a vine to remove a boulder covering the hole.

Hook and David raise the boulder and we go inside, I feel like I've just been arrested, being assisted into the cave like it's a police car.

I'm sat in a corner whilst they mooch around the cave, looking for something. I gather they have no idea what they know they're looking for because they get so desperate they begin to marvel at a coconut with a candle in it.

As far as I can tell all it does is leave a pretty pattern on the ceiling but they get pretty excited and David and Hook leave.

"Right, what to do about you?"


	13. Chapter 13

"Don't hurt her," Mary Margaret says as Emma and Regina stand in front of me, I have to admit, I am a little scared. They turn to her and she shyly adds, "she may be innocent."

"Let's see shall we," Regina smiles sweetly, removes Hook's handkerchief and shows me a chocolate bar, "what do you know?"

"I don't take candy from strangers," I smile. You can tell this annoys her, I don't know why I say it but I'm not feeling too friendly after being tied up and her motherly love act isn't fooling me.

"Kid, tell us what you know and we'll help you get to your parents." Emma offers, obviously forgetting our previous conversation.

"My mum doesn't care about me and my dad lives far away, with his new family. Do you really think I'd give a damn if I never saw them again?" Why am I being so reluctant, this woman, these women? Want their child back, why am I standing in the way?

Mary Margaret pulls them back, they discuss something about mothers and when they finish Mary Margaret comes over to me and the others stand back.

"Hey, if you don't want your parents, we can help you get adopted," at least she tried to be nice.

"I'm 17, what family would want a kid that would be gone in a year?" I start to think about how hopeless this situation is, I won't even get any parents will I? No one who loves me, to tuck me in at night and read me stories, "plus, you're from America, they'd send me home to England, I'd be screwed. In some run down orphanage, this isn't Tracy Beaker."

"What's Tracy Beaker?" Sure, that's what she focuses on.

"Some TV show from when I was a kid."

"Just tell me where Henry is, please. They want his heart."

"His heart? What? No... that's screwed up!"

"Yes, his heart. Pan wants it for something, we don't know what."

"I don't know how to get to the camp, I don't even know why I'm here. I'm sorry I can't help." I start to feel off again. My head starts to compress and I feel another episode coming, they can't see it. They'll kill me, I'm too screwed up.

I stand up, "can I get some air?"

"No." Regina moves in a binds my legs with whatever weird crap she did before.

I feel myself being held down and grabbed at.

I feel restraints round my neck.

I begin to scream with what little air I have left.

In the distance I can hear screams, vague sounds of voices.

When I come down I sit up and rest my back against the stone wall.

They saw.

They saw everything.

They'll laugh at me.

Crap.

Crap.

Crap.

No.

No.

Nonononononononononono.

I slowly start tapping my head on the wall, harder and harder until all I can hear is pain.

Again.

Screaming.

Men.

Grabbing me.

Out in the woods.

Screaming.


	14. Chapter 14

I awake groggy and with a dreadful headache.

"Ungh..." I start pushing myself up, slumped against the outside of the cave I assume they're telling me to go my own way.

"Woah, woah woah." Emma runs over and grabs my arm causing me to wince, she lowers me back down and they try talking to me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Would you like some food?"

"Are you hungry?"

"I'll get you food."

My vision is fuzzy and my head has to work to identify the voices.

"Give her some space," Emma commands, "you need food, Hook, do you know what's edible?"

"Just imagine what you want, it will appear," the pirate was far away, obviously scared whatever I had is contagious.

Mary Margaret places a bowl of stew in my hands and Emma says, "eat."

"I'm not-"

"Eat."

Something in her voice makes me eat and I have to admit, it's good. It may be the starvation talking but I don't think I've tasted soup this good in a long time.

As I slowly start to feel better, I push myself into a proper sitting position.

"Right, now. What the Hell was that?" Emma's voice cuts through the bliss.

"It's nothing." I lie, "it's unimportant."

"Unimportant? You wouldn't stop screaming and shouting and you would have had an egg on the back of your head if Regina hadn't sorted you out." This wakes me up.

"You got rid of my bruise?"

"Well, yes... I- of course." She seems to sense the anger in my voice, "why? Is that a problem?"

My scars are from my own battle field, they remind me what I've been through to get to where I am today and she just wiped it out.

"No, sorry. Thank you," but I can't look her in the eye.

I reach round to the back of my head, not even blood matted into my hair, this woman is thorough.

"Sorry you had to see that, it's not important and it won't happen again."

"No offence but you don't seem to have much control-"

"Just..." I think, how to promise this without explaining, "if we get off the island I'll be fine, something, some kind of infection. I don't know." I lie through my teeth, hoping their knowledge of this island isn't too extensive.

"Hook?" I guess he knows the island, I hold my breath.

"I've never seen it before, but when I was here I stuck to the Jolly Roger. It could have been something Pan did." But he seems quiet, deep in thought, like a liar.

Emma nods slowly, you can tell she doesn't believe him.

As we walk towards God knows where Hook approaches me, "I've seen that before, in Bedlam. Patients would scream and throw themselves at walls, people, anything over nothing."

I say nothing, he didn't tell them so I can only assume he wants a deal.

"I didn't tell the others but that doesn't mean I won't, one more of those," he gestures vaguely with his hook, "and I'll tell them."

"Why didn't you?"

"It's not my place but if I feel you're putting us or Henry in danger I'll have Regina put another binding spell on you and we'll stow you in the cave until we're done."

"Right." I have to get control, I have to stop freaking out, I am not being restrained again, I am not being locked up again, "did anything happen whilst I was out?"

"Me and David failed at finding the sextant and the ladies caught themselves a lost boy, they sent him to talk to Henry. Regina left while you were out, she's gone to find somebody. She thinks can help."

"And how did they manage that?" Interested to know how one of Pan's sacred lost boys could be persuaded to do something, "your charming powers of persuasion?"

But he doesn't smile and his face darkens, "they ripped out his heart and puppetted him into Pan's camp."

Well... That escalated quickly.

He chuckles lightly, "it's what was needed."

We approach yet another cave and come to a stop, Mary Margaret gulps and say, "so Neal's?"

"In there," Emma nods.

We enter and it's huge, a crate made of vines sits in the middle, containing a man slumped over, "there's no way over? How are we meant to get to-" I'm interrupted by Hook.

"We each have to reveal a secret, something no one else knows." Great. Just great.

"Well, it was nice knowing you gu-" as I go to walk out three swords and a bow and arrow are drawn and aimed directly at me, "as I was saying, who first?"

Everybody confesses their stuff and a small bridge grows until it's me and Emma left.

"Your turn," they turn to me.

"Why me? It's not my..." I pause to think about how many screwed up relationships they have here, "let me guess? Great uncle once removed?" I smile but they all look stern.

"Just do it," and with that a sword is aimed at my oesophagus.

"Right..." A secret.

What secret?

I have lots of secret no one knows.

But the one I don't want anyone to?

As in it would destroy me?

"I haven't been taking my medication." They eye the bridge. Nothing.

"What for?"

"Depression, anxiety, sleep and borderline."

Nothing.

"Why aren't you taking them?"

I think for a moment, "I don't want to end up lobotomised. I don't want to be medicated into numbness my illness does that already, I want to be alert even if it means I spend 90% of my time looking for ways to kill myself I want to be able to fight and protect my friends."

The bridge fills itself in.

"You really want to... die?" David asks, not too sensitively I might add.

"That's unimportant."

They can sense I'm not about to open up and so Emma crosses the bridge to the man and starts attacking it, after a moment she slumps to the floor and starts pouring her heart out. Suddenly the front panel disappears and the man practically falls out and hugs her.


	15. Chapter 15

"Welcome back," David does one of those 'man pats' on who I guess is Neal's shoulder.

"Thanks but we're not in the clear yet," Neal brushes himself off as he climbs down the ladder to exit the cave, he turns round and notices me, quickly he grabs David's sword and points it at me, "who are you?!" He screams - I am sick of swords now, I have had far too many aimed at me.

"Calm down, she's been with us for a while," David puts his hand round the sword blade but Neal won't release it.

"Why does she have those on her wrists?"

"We don't know if she's with Pan or not," by now the others are out of the cave.

Neal hands the sword back but he won't stop glaring at me, "Pan doesn't take girls. He thinks they're weak, it's unlikely."

"Better safe than sorry," Emma walks to the middle of the group and starts addressing everyone, "we need a plan, Neal?"

"Get me to my cave and I'll show you."

And so, around we turn and not long after we're back at the cave he goes in and looks alarmed, I hadn't been back in the cave since - there's blood over the walls and most of the stuff is on the floor.

"What happened here?" He looks offended. Emma gestures toward me with her head, obviously subtlety isn't a thing where these people come from, "she attacked you?"

"Can we not? I didn't attack anyone not on purpose anyway," did I hurt anyone? I didn't even think of that, "I'm just trying to get off this island, you people are too, if we help each other we might get out sooner."

"We need Henry first," Emma pipes in and that just about pushes me over the edge.

"What is it with this kid? Is he some sort of magician? Or what?!" I shouldn't have said that. I should not have said that. I have now got five angry people glaring at me, "what I meant was..."

"He is our son, their grandchild and Hook isn't related but they're pretty close too."

"Look I'm sorry, I just-"

"Haven't taken your medication to keep you out of crazy town? Yeah, we get it." No, I didn't go too far, that, that was too far.

"Bye." I walk off, they don't follow me. I have to admit, I'm a little hurt Mary Margaret didn't come after me but then again they're family.

Stomping off into the woods I fume about what she said, it's what the noise in my head says too which is why it hurts so much. I hate it when people say things about me that are right. Things that I hate about myself because I know they're right and the fact that I've let them close enough to realise these things kills me.

As I walk I hear screaming, I glance round but really I don't care.

The next thing I know I see two shadows fly over my head they spot me and pin me to a tree.

I have a horrible pain come over me and my whole body screams.

"HELP ME!"

Pain.

Pain.

Pain.

Shouting.

Pan.

Suddenly I'm on the floor and the shadows have gone.

Pan approaches me and crouches in front of me, I manage to push myself into sitting position.

"Are you alright?" I nod, "sorry about them, I told them to take the shadow of everyone but my Lost Boys, they obviously didn't consider you a Lost Boy... for obvious reasons."

"I'm not one of your people." He ignores me and examines my bondage.

"Here, let me help with those," he whooshes his hand over them and they disappear. He helps me up and I stumble a little so he conjures a green fluid.

"Drink it, it will help."

I take the bottle and examine the liquid - it's not like anything I've seen but I drink it anyway. When I upturn the bottle my sleeve falls down and Pan shrieks.

"Did they do this to you? The people who you were with," his face has contorted into one of complete rage.

He doesn't give me time to answer, he grabs my hand and we fly.

We're at his camp, he whistles and the Lost Boys come running along with a boy in clothes that make him look a lot different to the others, he looks sweet, he looks like...

"Henry?" I shout and he looks up, so it is him.

"Yes, how do you-"

"Silence." Pan shouts and Felix leads Henry away, he looks back at me and I vow to myself to reunite him with his parents, they have been mean but that's no reason for me to keep a child from his parents.

"Right lads, we know where they are and so we will find them. They harmed Fay whilst she was prisoner and they need to pay." The boys cheer and Pan leads the way.

I stumble along trying not to look too involved, they believed I was one of Pan's cronies before so if they see me, unbound and with Pan's war party they'll never help me off the island.

We approach Neal's cave and Pan lands in front of me, "you stay here, we don't want them getting to you again."

I nod.

"Emma. Nice to see you again." Pan greets her and her friends draw their weapons looking around them to where the Lost Boys are inevitably hiding.

"Your new girlfriend tell you where we are?" She's talking about me, God. Pan is keeping me prisoner on his island and they think I'm his freaking girlfriend.

"Fay is safely with us after what you did to her." Oh no.

"What we did to her? We didn't do anything! You cast a curse that made her have a fit or something." Oh dear. If he links that with how he saw me last... this could get messy, I go to bolt and realise I've been chained to the tree. Excellent. My ankle is now attached to a tree.

The rattling of the chains attracts the attention of Pan and Emma, they look in my direction and my cheeks redden.

"Hi." I mock salute and Emma narrows her eyes, trying to connect the dots no doubt.

"Show them. Remind them what they did to you." Does he really want me to show my cuts? Seriously?

"What? No I'm not." Suddenly his nose is pressed against mine and we're face to face.

"Show them or I'll show them for you."

"Oh- okay." I raise my sleeves.

"Jesus..." David lowers his sword and stares, I hate this part.

"You did this." Pan states.

"No... I think you'll find that was her." Hook responds. This is where the trolley ends, I am so screwed. I try to bolt again but the chain pulls me over.

"Nonsense, why would anyone do a thing like that to themselves?" Pan scoffs but he glances at me nervously.

"You really meant it, what you said in the cave." Mary Margaret looks at me like a wounded dear and I nearly cry, this is awful. I hate people feeling sorry for me.

What was it Hook said?

'Imagine what you want and it will appear'

I close my eyes, as tight as I can and the chains around my ankle disappear, I smile. When I open them Pan is looking at me with fire in his eyes, "you would do such a disgraceful thing to yourself? You disgust me."

What?

Wait.

What?

My head starts to melt.

My legs give in and I slump to the floor.

I sit there.

I feel like I'm in a game.

Or a film.

Just watching.

From behind a camera.

Pan grabs me by the wrist and we arrive at his camp, I am thrown in a cage like Neal.

I imagine it gone but it stays.

"That magic won't work, all of my cage's have been crafted so the Neverland Magic does nothing." Pan crouches in front of the crate.

He pauses and stares at me, searching for something.

"Why do you do it? I don't understand."

"Do what?"

"Those... Things on your arms." He is obviously finding it hard to say.

"It helps to focus me, my brain is like a traffic jam on spaghetti junction at rush hour, everything is noise and shouting, most of it less than PG and doing this," I look at my now bare arms, "helps me make sense of everything."

"So that's why you pushed on your legs before the fight?"

I nod.

"And why you winced whenever anyone came near your arms?"

I nod.

He sighs and looks away.

"My sister was like you."

"You have a sister?"

"Had."

Oh.

"I found her covered in blood in the stables, at first I thought she'd been attacked, the amount of blood there was but then I saw her arms, covered in blood and with two neat lines from the hand to the elbow. She'd painted, with the blood on the wall. 'God forgive me'"

He had sat down, his back against the crate, "after that, I turned to rum. I was 17 when I found her by 20 I had a child and by 30 I'd abandoned him for here."

"You're 30?"

He chuckles lightly, "I'm so much older than that."

"I'm sorry about your sister."

"Don't be, she's happy now, I hope."

"Can you let me out now?"

He stands, "no. I need you safe."

What.

Crap.

No.

"Don't trap me. I can't be locked up again." He walks away and my shouts fall on death ears that won't stop me, "let me the hell out. Hey come back here and face me."

I shout at him until my throat becomes dry, I throw myself at the walls of the crate but nothing happens, I can't get enough weight behind me in here.

I settle down and retreat into my brain some time passes when I'm brought out of my head by someone poking me in the back.

"Can you not-" I whip round and see the last person I expected, "Henry?"

"So you do now who I am?"

"Yes, I was with your family. Your dad and your mum and grandparents and a pirate." I begin to get excited now, the prospect of somebody in this world getting a happy ending is making me tingle with some kind of happy feeling.

"My dad?" His face drops and I can tell he doesn't believe me, "my dad is dead."

"I saw him! Neal, with the stubble and the grey shirts!"

He shakes his head, "my dad died, he was shot."

"No, please!"

He gets up and walks away, "I really saw him! I swear!"

 **A/N what do you think of the name? And how do you like this chapter? It's a little longer than most of the others but I got carried away. Also I hope Pan's initial reaction to self harm didn't trigger anyone, there is a trigger warning on the story.**

 **I love you all.**

 **Let me know what you think.**


	16. Chapter 16

Hours late I've tired myself out and have curled up in a little ball. I can feel the cage being moved but I really don't have the drive to do anything right now, I'm feeling very grey. Feeling grey is like, knowing that you should be feeling emotions but they can't reach you. Like you're behind a screen. And it's horrible but amazing because when I feel I feel things at random levels, when I spill a glass of water it literally feels like the world has fallen in but I can be shouted at and feel nothing or very little.

It's weird.

I sit and watch myself being carried. Dum de dum, I hum with the beat of the rocking back and forth. In the end one of the boys becomes irritated and hits the crate.

"Shut up!" So I do. They are, after all, giving me a lift. I laugh at my own joke, it's not that funny but I feel the laugh so I roll with it.

"We're here." From what I can see we're by a big tree, the boys don't seem to want to go near it and back away quickly when Pan approaches.

"I don't want to keep you trapped any more Fay," he crouches so we're face to face, "I'm going to let you go."

"What's the game?" I doubt it's as simple as - set free, get free, leave.

"Just walk out of the cage." He seems too smug for this to not be a trap but I'll be stuck in here otherwise so I get out.

Suddenly my head is filled with regrets, so much I fall to my knees and clutch my head.

"Fay?" Pan seems unnerved, I figured this was part of his plan but his voice makes me think otherwise.

I should have taken more pills. I should have cut deeper. I should never make friends. I should have curled up in a ball and died. I should never have eaten. I should have never taken that shadows hand. I should have-

Air.

I can't breathe.

Something is crushing me.

Peeling my eyes open I can see tree roots wrapping round me, tighter and tighter.

I should have just stuck with Emma, she was mean but so? Now I'm going to suffocate, something I tried to avoid before because lack of air is a torturous way to go.

The more I regret leaving Emma the tighter it gets.

I can hear Pan shouting in the background but not what he's saying, I can feel someone grabbing at my vines.

Have to get rid of regret.

"I'm glad I'm alive." I shout, I try thinking of positive things about being alive. None come to mind so I work with the sticking with Emma one, "I'm glad I left Emma's group. They don't know what they're doing. Pan's kind of nice, but I don't really know. This island is pretty cool." As I shout I find myself being able to breathe more and thank the Gods that I'm not going to die like that. I fall to the floor in front of the tree.

"Pan's kind of nice? He intends to rip out my son's heart." Regina snaps.

Ah, these guys.

"I was trying to save myself from dying like that." I push myself up and stumble away from the tree.

"Well I saved you." She smirks, "I have no regrets, the tree got me and I broke free, freeing you three with me."

I look around and Emma and Mary Margaret have the same panicked expression as I imagine I do.

"Do you trust me yet?" I bend over, panting.

"Not quite."

"Don't cuff me or put me in a cage or I swear I'll leave." I am not being trapped again.

"We're not going to, we'll let you walk freely."

"Why?"

"Why?" She questions, "what do you mean, why?"

"Why do you trust me?"

The three women look at each other nervously, I stare at Mary Margaret giving her my best 'little lost girl' look.

"We're going to take your heart." She caves.

"What?" It feels like my world has dropped out, I try running, my legs not really doing what I want so I look more like I'm in some Monty Python sketch but I manage get far enough away. Suddenly I hear screaming, I look behind me and Mary Margaret has been strapped back to the tree - she either regrets telling me or regrets the idea and I don't want to stick around to find out.

"You save her. I'll get the kid." Emma comes charging into the woods after me, a deep fire in her eyes.

"You've got fire, I like fire." I smile as I dance out of the way.

"Come back here, you little-" she stops herself from swearing.

I sprint off, I'd become really unfit after going into hospital and I'm beginning to wish I'd started exercising again. They stopped us in the hospital because we had anorexic girls who were over the weight for ed wards.

My mind begins to wander but I come back in time to realise I'm about to run into a tree.

"Oh damn." I say standing up, I don't know what it is but accidental pain just sucks compared to self inflicted. It's strange.

I stand up and put my hand to my head, I may have a concussion but I have to keep going.

"Just keep swimming just keep swimming," I sing as I jog, trying to motivate myself.

How can they want to take my heart? That's crazy!

My brain starts to become heavy and black dots dance before my eyes.

The last thing I see before I black out is Pan's face.

 **A/N I recently watched the last episode of season 4, oh my god! I have no friends who watch the show someone freak out with me?**


	17. Chapter 17

When I wake up I'm back in the same tent at Pan's camp, I sit up and discover my hands have been tied to the bed.

"Hey!" I yell, "hey! I'm awake, can someone untie me?"

A nervous looking Lost Boy, who I presume is around my age, enters the tent and smiles sheepishly, "no one's allowed to give you anything or untie you."

"Well, Pan's not here right now is he." I bite my lip and look him up and down, I try to be sexy but I can't really be too much whilst strapped to a bed.

"No but..." He looks at me and he's pulled. I figured, a bunch of boys stuck on an island, no female company. One of them has to be straight and without his 'needs' filled.

"You know, if you'd let me up for a minute I could be a real... sport." I wait for him to get what I'm saying and when he does his face flushes pink.

"Okay," he smiles, someone's happy. I almost feel bad for what I'm about to do. He leans over me and cuts the ties round my hands.

The second I'm free I elbow him in the head and shove his body off me, I tie one of my restraints round his mouth and his other to the bed and take his knife.

"Sorry," I apologise before I leave, I don't know what Pan will do to him but I don't like being restrained.

I creep round the camp and stumble across Pan's tent, if there's anywhere I'll find a way off this island, it's Pan's tent.

When I enter I scan the tent but don't see anyone so I start moving things about, I tuck the knife into my waistband, I cover it with my shirt, I don't want Pan taking it off me if he finds me.

His tent really doesn't have an awful lot in it but I obviously managed to miss the boy himself lying on his bed because the next thing I know he's behind me, pressing me to a wall with a knife to my throat.

"Who let you out?"

"How- how do you know I didn't get out on my own?" I'm going to try and save the poor lad, after all, I promised him sex and all he got was bondage.

"Those bonds were enchanted, the wearer cannot let themselves free." Oh. Magic. Right.

"Go see for yourself. I tied him to the bed," he leaves his tent and I relax.

Time to run again?

Those people do have a way off the island.

And if they promise to give me my heart back...

But it's too late.

Pan is back with an evil look on his face.

"He told me what happened."

"He's conscious?" I smirk.

"Yes. And you," he points his knife at my face. I could take it off him and slice my wrists until I die. Slice. Slice. Slice. Blood pouring. They don't have the medical expertise for that. They're just kids.

"ARE YOU DARING TO IGNORE ME?" Christ.

Pan's face is in mine.

"Sorry... I just got distracted. I just..."

"Wanted to screw some Lost Boy because he wandered into your tent?!" He's kind of scaring me now, his face is full of fire.

"No- I-I-I said that so he'd-"

"So he'd free you?" He offers. His nose wrinkles and his eyebrow flicks up - I would probably find him attractive if I wasn't so scared right now.

"Right." My head is all over the place but every thought comes back to that knife.

The voice is singing to me, just one word, 'slice' over and over. Ignoring it is becoming such a strain on my brain I can feel tears.

"Well, you're free." What? "I have ordered two Lost Boys to be your escorts, they won't be persuaded by you."

"What do you mean?"

"You're very much not their 'type'" He found two gay Lost Boys to guard me? How much of an over kill - oh, right. I did kind of bring this on myself but that just makes it worse.

There's a cough outside the tent and I guess these are my Boys, "Enter." Pan says and two Boys walk in, dressed in brown leathers with patterns carved into them, with shirts on underneath and leather boots.

Neither of them look at me, they both look at Pan until he nods and then they look at me and nod.

"This is Pista and Scoke. They are two of my fiercest warriors. Try to run, they have orders to shoot you in the thigh. Try to fight and they have orders to fight back. If anyone apart from me approaches you, they will be killed." He speaks matter of factly, as if this is a normal everyday thing for him.

"Right..."

"And if you try to hurt yourself, they have orders to knock you out."

Jesus Christ the kid thought of everything.

I look at my new baby sitters - they are both taller than me, more muscular and apparently, skilled with weapons. There is literally no way for me to escape them.

"If she goes anywhere outside the camp, you must have my permission first." Both boys nod.

I am in deep trouble.

If Emma and her band of Merry Wo-Men get Henry then I am stranded with no real clue how they escaped.

Crap.


	18. Chapter 18

"So..." These boys are so awkward. They literally haven't said two words to me, "Pista and Scoke? They're nice names." I'm not lying. They're interesting, I like interesting.

They just stare straight ahead.

"How long have you been here?"

I start firing off questions.

"Do you like peanut butter?"

"Do you even know what peanut butter is?"

"Crunchy or smooth?"

"How come no matter what colour the liquid the froth is always white?"

"How fast do hot cakes sell?"

Still nothing.

I start being really annoying.

"Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now," which each joke I nudge one of them with my elbow and pull a stupid expression or do the finger guns.

"I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me," I snort but still nothing.

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down."

"I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction," this one makes me laugh far more than it should. And some of the other Lost Boys start looking up.

"I used to be a banker but I lost interest," I start crying, these are funny and no one is laughing.

"I don't trust stairs because they're always up to something," by now my laughing has started to get a little loud and Pan storms out of his tent.

"What in Hell is going on here?" He seems a little mad, I try to back off but Pista and Scoke grab me, "huh? What's going on? Explain yourself."

"I... Well... I"

"Spit it out." In the distance I see Regina with something in her hand, she blows it towards the camp and suddenly I feel very...

I wake up in the middle of a forest.

The forest.

I push myself up and look around. After a moment not seeing anybody I stand up.

It's eerily quiet.

I walk in a straight line until I'm at the beach.

Looking around I see a trail of Lost Boys being led to Hook's boat.

I creep up. Hiding behind rocks I can see Felix being yanked onto the boat and he spots me and smirks.

Ugh.

I'm grabbed from behind, a grubby hand is forced over my mouth and I would lick it but germs.

Pista and Scoke have found me.

Right.

"Stay quiet. Something's happening on Skull Rock. Pan needs you." I focus on not breathing in the muck from his hands but it's not really much use.

I would struggle but these guys would snap me like a twig.

I allow myself to be carried away from the ship, from safety, from sanity.


	19. Chapter 19

They throw me onto the floor, "go." Pista says gruffly, it's the first words I've heard. His voice is suitably low and scary. He points up the stairs, I don't know why, there's no where else to go.

I stand up and look at the two boys, they stand staring at me, like weird Bouncers, and I get unnerved so I walk to the stairs. It's a long flight of stairs, they go up quite high and I can't see anything, not even a hint of what might wait for me at the top.

I run my hand along the wall, there isn't a handrail and I'm clumsy.

As I walk Pan flies down the stairs past me, I watch him cast some kind of spell before turning round and flying at me, I try to duck but he grabs me and drops me in front of Henry.

"Henry?" I breathe a sigh of relief, at least one family will be okay.

I go to hug him but he shoves me off.

"You told me my dad was alive." He won't even look me in the eye.

"He is Henry!"

"No!"

"Ah, Rumple. The last member of our club." I turn round and there, indeed, is a man approaching. I've never seen him before. He looks old and tired and he carries a box.

"Who is the girl?" He asks, rudely.

"Unimportant, for the moment." Pan responds.

"I am here." I say but neither boy nor man looks away from the other.

"As we all know Bae is dead, no family reunion for us." Pan mock pouts and it makes me want to yell.

"Neal is alive. I've seen him." Rumple mutters.

"Yes, well, you thought you saw Belle didn't you Rumple and look how that turned out." Pan snaps, something got to him but he quickly comes back from it, "Rumple my boy, tell the girl who I am."

"He's Malcom. My pa." The old man looks away and I wrinkle my nose.

"Funny. He's more likely to be Henry's dad." But then I think about it, "if your grandparents are the same age as your parents then why the hell not!"

"Actually," Rumple starts, "I'm his granddad and his son." He points to the two boys in turn, I narrow my eyes - that makes no sense.

"And you my dear Fay," Pan clamps a hand on my shoulder, I try to flinch away but the kid... Man? Pensioner? The person is strong, "are the final branch."

"What?" I whisper.

"What?" Rumple growls.

"This young lady is Henry's daughter."


	20. Chapter 20

I let out a sarcastic laugh.

"I'm the kid of the six year old? Right."

"I'm not six. I'm fourteen."

"Right. Right, pops." Tears stream down my face, "come on dad, let's go play catch."

"You're from the future." Pan's face is full of rage, he obviously doesn't like being laughed at.

"The future?" I laugh, "well then Doc, I have to get back," I pause, "to the future."

The three males glare at me, all unamused. So I straighten up and suppress my laughter.

"So if I'm his daughter, what does that mean? How did I get here?" I ask, holding laughter back, this is nuts but they seem to think it's the truth.

"Someone opened a time portal." Pan says, "you slipped through by accident and I guided you in the direction I needed."

"In the direction you needed? Let me guess. You were a spoilt brat growing up?" I scoff and his nose wrinkles with resentment.

"I needed you. I thought Henry would do, but you're better. You're heart? Is the truest. Not even Henry's heart shines brighter."

"Pan, no." Rumple holds the box out in front of himself and pushes a button and - nothing happens.

He presses it a few times and still nothing.

Pan laughs cruelly.

"Really Rumple?" Pan draws a box from behind his back, "I learned a few things from my card tricks. One of them? Always have the upper hand." Pan smirks as he presses the button and Rumple disappears.

Moments later I hear footsteps pounding up the stairs and Pan glares at me, he places a hand on my chest and reaches in.

A strange glowing orb is the next thing I see and then, darkness.

 **A/N sorry for the short chapter and update. I'll do some more tomorrow.**


	21. Chapter 21

"Fay? Fay wake up! Please."

The first words I hear are in a frantic female voice.

"Go away." I groan.

"Fay! Wake up! We need you to help us get off the island."

What?

I open my eyelids slowly, I'd been picked up and the female was Emma, she jogs behind whoever has a hold of me.

"I can't help you get off the island. Let me sleep!"

"Fay, as my granddaug-"

"I am not your granddaughter. Don't even go there." Hook puts me down and they let me run.

"When we get to the boat me, Regina and you are gonna need to do a spell."

"I'm not magic! I'm not your grandchild! I'm not even sure any of this has happened so back off." I shout between pants.

Emma stops and grabs my shoulders, "just trust me. Okay? Trust me."

I bite my lip but nod. If I can just make them think I'm going along with them I can escape when I get the chance.

We get to the boat and 'my dad' and the rest of them stand about.

"Fay we're going to need you to put a hand on the coconut, wave a hand at the sail and transfer the power." Regina snaps when I get there.

I laugh, "right..." But I do what she asks and then? The weirdest thing happens.

The. Boat. Flies.

"Wha-what?" I run to the edge, laughing and waving at the island. I look around me and Emma and Charming grin at me, "how are we flying?"

"Magic." Emma laughs.

"Right." I roll my eyes, "I mean, I'm still not a hundred percent sure that this isn't some crazy hallucination but it's a good one."

They give each other confused glances.

Hook shouts from his position steering, "shall we let the kid drive?"

"I'm not a kid! I'm nearly an adult!" I shout back.

He rolls his eyes, "just like her grandmother."

"I'm not- we're not- she's not my gran, okay?"

He doesn't say anything more and he shows me how to steer then offers me he wheel. I drive happily for a while but I start getting hot and roll up my sleeves, after everything that had happened I had forgotten about hiding.

"What on earth- did he torture you?" Hook grabs my arms and drags me to Emma, "look what he did to her!"

"Hook, no-"

"He hurt her! We should go back and slay the bloody thing once and for-"

"Hook, for gods sake-"

"Turn this ship around!"

I yank my arms free from his grip, "Hook. I did this to myself you idiot."

And storm off.

That went well.


	22. Chapter 22

I throw myself down angrily in the only cabin not occupied.

I hate these people.

I hate this place.

I hate everything.

I want to go home.

I want to sleep.

I want to die.

This is bad.

"F-Fay?"

I look up to see Henry, my 'father', nervously entering the room.

"That's your name isn't it?"

"Yeah. Just a note for when you name me, call me something cooler? Or maybe just keep the 'e' on the end? Nobody remembers the lack of the 'e'."

"I- this is hard. I know. Emma didn't always know about all this. She wasn't always aware and neither was everyone else." He stands awkwardly in the doorway, shifting from foot to foot so I gesture for him to sit next to me, "for a long time no one believed me, it was hard."

I ponder for a minute, what do you say in this situation? "What changed?"

"A-"

"Isn't this quaint?" Peter Pan. Evil, despicable, Peter Pan.

I hold my arm out in front of Henry but he just smiles, "try anything Pan and I'll scream this ship down."

Unnervingly, the boy smiles and reaches out for Henry's chest. I open my mouth to scream but no sound comes.

What?

"What..." Pan drapes at Henry's chest but nothing happens, "Regina, of course she would."

What did you do to me? I try to shout but again, no sound. Although, frankly, it is very clear. All too clear what has happened to me in this magical world.

He has rendered me mute.

"You can't have my heart Pan and Fay's is useless without mine." Henry grins at the boy and I flop down onto the seat, at least I won't have to fight him.

"But," I appear to have spoken to soon because the next thing I knows very confused looking Pan stands before me.

"If I have your body, I have your heart. No need to steal anything." Henry smiles and Pan collapses to the floor.

Suddenly Pan is swept up into the tiny box that Regina holds, "not to worry Henry, I have him. He can't hurt you now."


End file.
